(Photo: Middle East Monitor)
I was at a weeklong writer’s retreat held by my long-time contemplative writing teacher Miriam Hall out in the Driftless area of Wisconsin when I heard the news that that a 12-year-old Palestinian boy was shot and killed by the Israeli Defense Forces. Mohammed Al-Alami was riding in the car with his father and two siblings on their way home to Beit Ummar near Hebron on July 28, 2021 when they encountered an Israeli checkpoint by the entrance of their village. The father backed up and the IDF opened fire with 13 rounds, one of which landed in Mohammed’s chest.
The pressure built in my head as I tried to reconcile the serene surroundings of the lovely country setting of my retreat with the reality of absolute insecurity Palestinians face in their own homeland day after day. My mind could not let go of the loss of this 12-year-old boy and the soldier who took his life and so I put my pen to paper during a two-minute write Miriam calls ‘Nugget Writing’ she adapted from her mentor Natalie Goldberg. who ironically calls it ‘Bullet Writing’. Now I appreciate more than ever why Miriam chose the term ‘nugget’ over ‘bullet’. I bet those 13 rounds took less than two minutes, but in those two minutes the poem below poured onto the page.
I could only wonder what it takes to fire at a car full of children. Images from the first intifada of Israeli soldiers facing stone-throwing youth bubbled up in my brain. Here we are more than 30 years later and we are more separate than ever. That is what separation does, it neatly divides people into ‘us’ and ‘them’, good guys and bad guys. I know the drill. Israel is defending itself. May I ask who is defending the Palestinians? Don’t both peoples have a right to live in safety and security with a little dignity sprinkled on top?
Until this conflict is a human conflict, where we are all committed to protecting our shared humanity rather than rationalize responding to the alleged threats of farmers and families, mothers and children, fathers and sons who want nothing more than to live on their land, this Israeli war of ‘winner takes all’ will leave the supposed safe haven for the Jews morally bankrupt and anything but secure.
Soldier's Heart
I want
to get inside
the soldier’s heart,
feel his heart,
his self-righteousness,
his vulnerability
past the steel helmet
and cold stare.
I know
there is a person
in there
with hopes,
dreams,
a family.
I know
he knows loss,
ancestral loss.
It drives him,
puts his soul
on autopilot.
Never again,
not to us.
No, everyone.
Never again
for everyone.
You or me
as good as no one
if not both of us.
Brave soldier,
where is your courage?
Are you brave
enough
to be human,
to see yourself
in me,
in that 12-year-old boy?
I know
you are
even if
you
don’t believe it.
